THE FIRST CRUSH...

The firsts are never forgotten.

Our parents can never forget the first word we spoke. Our parents can never forget the first time we walked. Our parents can never forget the first step we took into school.

There are many firsts in our life as we grow up.  Our first friend, our first teacher, our first bunk, the first book we’ve read and most important of all, our first crushes.

First crushes are unforgettable.

Once a friend (guy) asked, “Why do girls have crushes on celebrities?” My answer was quite simple- “Girls have crushes on celebrities because the chances of heart breaks are too rare since it was obvious that it was just one sided liking. Moreover, the celebrity doesn’t even know that we exist.” “And how might that prove your point?” he asked again. “IT proves my point because,” I said, “a girl does not have to go through the heartbreaks that she is bound to go through if she likes someone within her reach.” I won the argument there and then, but didn’t quite realize that I might end up doing the same thing. I didn’t know that I might fall for a person so near yet so far. It was hard to believe and difficult to digest.

I wasn’t the one to feel much because of my past experiences. But, this was something different. It is like liking a celebrity because you know that he doesn’t even know you exist. At the same time, it is also like liking a friend because you were his friend for as long as five years. One look at him would turn me numb. One look would make me want to give him everything I have. One look would have me stunned for some reason. Yet, all of this remains only in my heart to go with me to the grave.

Years have passed since the first time I saw him. Yet, he has the same effect on me.

What is it? Madness, I would say.

Why do I not pursue him? Why do I not tell him how I feel?

Ha! Because, I fear. I fear that I might lose him as a friend. But, then again, he doesn’t talk to me anyway.

It does come down to looks every time, doesn’t it? Sometimes, it has got nothing to do with what you are inside. It has everything to do with how beautiful you look or how smart (or shrewd) you are. It has got nothing to do with the fact that looks could be deceiving.

We are strangers to each other. It is difficult for an outsider to believe that we were once friends. We were FAMILIAR STRANGERS indeed.